I. AM. FUCKING. DEAD.
I think I may have just wet myself
Arial + cat dancer = adorable hilarity
I want a face full of frown lines and weariness and cream-colored teeth that, frankly, tells stupid and venal people to FUCK OFF. I want a face that drawls — possible in the voice of James Cagney, although Cagney from Cagney & Lacy will do — “I’ve seen more recalcitrant toddlers/devious line managers/steep mountain passes/complicated dance routines on Parappa the Rapper/bigger sums that you’ll ever see in you life, sunshine. So get out of my special chair and bring me a cheese sandwich.
Lines and grayness are nature’s was of telling you not to fuck with someone — the equivalent of the yellow-and-black banding on a wasp, or the markings on the back of a black widow spider. Lines are your weapon against idiots. Lines are your “KEEP AWAY FROM THE WISE INTOLERANT WOMAN” sign."
"Johnnie Phelps, a woman sergeant in the army, thought, “There was a tolerance for lesbianism if they needed you. The battalion I was in was probably about ninety-seven percent lesbian.”
Sergeant Phelps worked for General Eisenhower. Four decades after Eisenhower had defeated the Axis powers, Phelps recalled an extraordinary event. One day, the general told her, “I’m giving you an order to ferret those lesbians out. We’re going to get rid of them.”
“I looked at him and then I looked at his secretary who was standing next to me, and I said, ‘Well, sir, if the general pleases, sir, I’ll be happy to do this investigation for you. But you have to know that the first name on the list will be mine.’ “
“And he was kind of taken aback a bit. And then this women standing next to me said, ‘Sir, if the General pleases, you must be aware that Sergeant Phelp’s name may be second, but mine will be first.”
“Then I looked at him, and said, ‘Sir, you’re right. They’re lesbians in the WAC battalion. And if the general is prepared to replace all the file clerks, all the section commanders, all the drivers-every woman in the WAC detachment-and there were about nine hundred and eighty something of us-then I’ll be happy to make that list. But I think the general should be aware that among those women are the most highly decorated women in the war. There have been no cases of illegal pregnancy. There have been no cases of AWOL. There have been no cases of misconduct. And as a matter of fact, every six months since we’ve been here, the general has awarded us a commendation for meritorious conduct.”
“And he said, ‘Forget the order.’”"
The Gay Metropolis, page 47, Charles Kaiser (via bibliothekara)
Phelps tells this story herself in the excellent 1984 documentary Before Stonewall, which you can watch in its entirety on YouTube (she’s at 19:30, but really, watch the whole thing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX7AxQd82H8
|DC:||Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-|
|Marvel:||YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS|
|DC:||We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.|
|Marvel:||HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE|
|DC:||The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.|
|Marvel:||DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER|
|DC:||After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.|
|Marvel:||PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW|
|DC:||We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...|
|Marvel:||NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.|
|DC:||We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.|
|Marvel:||NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS SWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM|
|DC:||We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.|
|Marvel:||FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO|
|DC:||Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-|
|Marvel:||NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK|
|Marvel:||NEW FEMALE THOR|
|Marvel:||NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA|
|Marvel:||TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE|